Children And Teens

(1) Scolding my child will decrease his/her self-esteem or causing him/her to be more rebellious and defiant.

By using positive discipline / engagements, the child is able to see his/her weaknesses or mistakes and improve on it without feeling hurt, neglected or feeling worthless. With a positive outlook, the child will be motivated to improve. The child would rebel or be defiant if he/she feels threaten, cornered or make to feel like a failure. Most importantly, parents and/or love ones cannot lose hope in him/her. Otherwise the child will see that there is no point in making any improvements since there is no one who cares for him/her.

(2) It is no good to pin point the child’s mistakes as it will discourage the child.

Ignoring a child’s mistakes or lacking does not encourage positive development in the child. On top of this, the child does not have the relevant skills to deal with any challenges in the future which can affect the child’s self-esteem or coping skills. Therefore, it is advisable to help improve the child’s skills / abilities by engaging positive methods.

(3) I do not have to do anything as my child will outgrow his/her problems / difficulties.

Such mindset is risky as the problems may become habitual or serving some form of benefits for the child so letting it go / changing is much more difficult later. Therefore, it is advisable to address any issues as soon as possible in a hopeful manner including learning new skills.

(4) The child will forget what I have told him/her since he/she is too young to understand or remember.

For younger children, any form of interventions need to be tailored to his/her level of understanding / abilities and are age appropriate. While using age appropriate methods while maintaining understanding through effective communications, the child is able to remember it better as it has a positive impact on the child rather than getting confused.

(5) My child usually learns bad habits or behaviour from other children in school or outside.

Children learn or model after everyone as long as the child sees a benefit to follow it. Therefore, parents need to be aware of their own behaviour, how they respond to others, how they handle issues, how they deal with their own responses, not having double standards, biasness, etc. On the other hand, if parents can demonstrate effective and positive problem solving skills, social skills, communication skills, life skills, relationship building, showing emotions, etc., the child will not only learn new skills but seeing how it can be used. So when challenges arise, the child already has the relevant skills to use and not having to think on the spot which can lead to impulsiveness or negative handling of the situations.






Note: Results may vary for different individuals and/or families.

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